Mentors or Influences who use P.D.Fs.
I consider myself an intelligent man. There aren’t that many things that get past me. I believe that many things declared out of the mouth have dual meanings or multiple ways of being interpreted. Most times the most obvious of explanations is to make a statement at face value. I’m learning more and more that the mental jotting down or logging of the multiple meanings can protect you as you come to realize that within the plethora of meanings and subtle statements, truth is revealed.
I know of a student who loved their teacher, damn near worshipped their teacher. For years, the mentor would share their stories of life and love in order to show the student that they understood and that the rough parts of life fade away, giving rise to the phenomenal dawning of new days.
This teacher spent much time training and imparting principles of life through education, partnership, teamwork, reflection, compassion, mercy, justice and so many other lessons. There were so many things that they poured into their student; they loved to teach and their student loved to receive.
The ultimate goal of every student is to graduate. The student had forgotten this valuable point. It wasn’t until they had been with their teacher for far too long that the student began to think from a graduates’ perspective. The student begins to come to conclusions based on the wisdom given to them. The teacher imparted wisdom, never realizing wisdom does not discriminate, change its truth or alter its approach according to the individual it sets its gaze on. Wisdom is the same regardless of station, class, race, gender or love preference.
The student begins to think from a mentors’ perspective. It’s almost like a tenured teacher who teaches their students every day. And then one day a teacher’s assistant is added to the mix. The teacher’s assistant is supposed to forward progress the agenda or curriculum of the teacher in its beginning stages. At the end of most days, the teacher sits down with the assistant to rehash the day.
The teacher wants to know how the assistant saw certain things, determined certain things; the teacher purposely makes subtle gestures throughout the day and wants to see if the assistant understands the why of the gestures and nuances. The teacher is interested in the assistants’ analysis because it is only through analyzing the thought process of the assistant and mirroring that with the intention of the teacher that the assistant can correctly frame and phrase gesture with the why, why with the necessary mindset, and mindset with the intention with their mentor or teacher. The mentor does not initially want a clone but a mind as it relates to correctly determining cause, effect and response.
As the teacher’s assistant becomes more knowledgeable concerning the craft, career and life of a teacher in relation to what they see every day, the rules change. The teacher that lies dormant within the assistant becomes activated. The assistant begins to act more like the teacher; they begin to observe like the teacher who taught them. By consequence of the teacher teaching and the assistant assisting, the teacher in the assistant is born and now there are two teachers in the room.
And here is where our discussion takes its negative and nasty turn. In the early seasons of training, learning, discipline, laughter, frustration and intimacy in conversation and fellowship – all was well because the assistant was attempting to become a teacher. Because of that, the assistant had more questions than judgments and more excitement than analysis.
The analysis part begins to take on a different flow within the teacher. The teacher begins to get frustrated with all of the questions and opinions of the assistant. The teacher wants the assistant to slow down on their journey to become a teacher. The teacher has forgotten that excitement is its own accelerant and that it was only because of the teacher’s passion to teach that the assistant fell in love with their own craft. Now there’s a clashing of teacher and assistant simply because the teacher was just that damn good.
Now the teacher begins to employ PDFs. In the beginning it wasn’t necessary as the assistant was nowhere close to finishing or graduating. But now, PDFs must be employed. The tactic of PDFs is going to be seen immediately once I tell you what PDFs mean. Whether or not the teacher can explain away by justification their offense, frustration or intimidation; the use of PDFs within the relationship is an automatic disqualifier of the teacher to continue pouring into the assistant.
Here is the tactic in the breakdown of PDFs: Patience through Delay and Fear. This is where the teacher begins to purposely slow down, decline or erode the once potent measures of teaching and training they initially poured into the assistant. They attempt to decelerate the life of the assistant because if they do not, the assistant will be ready to go faster than the teacher is ready to release them. So now the teacher begins to teach patience. They tell the assistant to slow down and be patient. They say that the assistant is too much in a rush to get to their next level. They say that the assistant is too ambitious and has not taken into consideration the power they will possess as a teacher, emphasizing the danger of running too quickly into what they are truly passionate about. While this may be called caution, the motive is to use Patience to cause Delay by using Fear.
This sad situation is not relegated to teaching or to cast mentors in negative lights. This really is about anyone who has an influence in your life. Mentors or ANYONE in your life who use PDFs are C.O.Ps. They are Casualties Of Purpose. If you have them in your life…run.